Self-Love is not Selfish

Practicing self-love isn’t selfish—it’s essential! If you don’t take the time to nurture yourself, how can you fully show up for others? In the final chapter of So You Wanna Be An Adult?, self-love is explored through the power of boundaries and positive self-talk—two of the most impactful ways to prioritize your emotional well-being.

When was the last time you truly put yourself first? As a parent, business owner, or caregiver, it’s easy to feel like prioritizing yourself is a luxury you can’t afford. The pressure to be fully present for your children, career, or responsibilities can make self-care seem selfish. But here’s the truth—two things can be true at once: you can care for others while also taking care of yourself.

Self-Love Is a Necessity, Not a Luxury

Did you know that setting boundaries is one of the strongest acts of self-love? By doing so, you teach others how to respect and treat you. Yet, many of us struggle with guilt when we stand up for ourselves. Why is it that protecting our peace feels wrong, even though we are the only ones who can truly advocate for ourselves?

Your Inner Dialogue Shapes Your Reality

How you speak to yourself matters. Your thoughts, emotions, and self-perception are influenced by external factors—family, friends, work, relationships, and even societal expectations. The good news is, there’s no one perfect and each of us are works in progress. The even better news is that there’s always going to be an opportunity for you to improve, which means you get the chance to continue working towards being the best version of yourself. This can only be accomplished with positive self-talk. 

Think of it this way: if you constantly criticize yourself—whether about your appearance, intelligence, or past mistakes—you create a standard for how others treat you. If you belittle yourself, you’re more likely to tolerate disrespect from others because you’ve normalized it. But when you set boundaries with your own thoughts—refusing to speak negatively about yourself—you redefine what is acceptable from both yourself and those around you.

Instead of tearing yourself down, try this:

✔ Acknowledge your mistakes without self-shaming.

✔ Speak to yourself with kindness and encouragement.

✔ Recognize that growth is a process, not an endpoint.

Boundaries Are an Extension of Self-Love

Self-love isn’t just about internal work—it extends to the commitments you make in your daily life. When you honor your own boundaries, you naturally project that confidence onto others. You become intentional about protecting your energy, valuing your time, and ensuring that your needs are not always placed last.

Of course, there will be moments when your feelings take a backseat—that’s part of life. But in situations where your voice should be heard, having strong boundaries will empower you to stand firm. You’ll only accept relationships, conversations, and environments that contribute to your growth and happiness.

Embrace the Power of Putting Yourself First

Choosing self-love doesn’t mean neglecting others—it means showing up as the best version of yourself. When you honor your own needs, you set the foundation for healthier relationships, stronger confidence, and a life filled with genuine joy.

So, the next time you hesitate to prioritize yourself, remember: Self-love is not selfish—it’s essential!