Navigating the Holidays as an Adult

The holiday season is a time of joy, reflection, and tradition. For many, it's a time when family, food, and festivity take center stage. But as we transition from childhood to adulthood, our experience of the holidays changes significantly. What once felt like a magical, carefree time of year can become, for some, a season of stress and responsibility. But when did this transition happen? It seems like overnight. One day we’re children anticipating the arrival of gifts, toys, and presents, and the next, we’re calculating logistics of the holiday season — like budgeting for gifts, planning family dinners, or managing complicated schedules.

For many, the holiday season can be a painful reminder of what’s missing. Whether you're grieving the loss of loved ones, coping with the emptiness of being alone, or facing the reality of not having the family you once envisioned, the season can stir feelings of sorrow. Maybe you're unmarried, without children, or living miles away from family, and the holidays feel incomplete or even isolating. These emotions are real, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by what “should be” rather than embracing what is.

In these moments, it’s important to remember to extend grace — not just to others, but to yourself. The holidays can bring out hidden struggles, and you never know what someone is quietly battling. Still, it’s possible to navigate these emotions with intention, so that the season isn’t consumed by longing or loss. By focusing on the present and honoring what you have now, you can find ways to move through the season with peace and even joy.

With the right mindset and some practical strategies, it’s possible to recapture the joy of the season while managing adult responsibilities.

Here are a few tips for navigating the holidays as an adult:

1. Host a Friendsmas or a “Friends-themed” Gathering: If you’re far from family, it can feel alienating — but you don’t have to spend the holidays alone. Gather your friends, coworkers, or neighbors for a "Friendsmas" celebration or a fun holiday-themed get-together. It’s the perfect way to build community and start new traditions with people who are close to you. Whether it's a cozy dinner, a potluck, or even a movie marathon, a simple get-together can fill your heart with joy.

   
   

2. Get Out and Volunteer: It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of shopping, cooking, and planning, but the holidays are also about giving back. Volunteering at a shelter, food bank, or charity event can shift your focus away from what's missing and help you reconnect with the true spirit of the season. It’s a powerful reminder that the holidays are about more than what’s under the tree — they’re about showing kindness and support to others in need.

   
   

3. Honor Loved Ones Who Have Passed: Grief can feel especially heavy during the holidays. If you’ve lost someone close to you, it can be hard to imagine celebrating without them. Instead of avoiding the emotions, find ways to honor their memory. You could cook their favorite meal, tell stories about them, or even keep a small tradition alive in their name. These simple acts can bring comfort, helping you feel their presence and keeping their legacy alive.

   
   

4. Create new traditions: As children we adopt whatever traditions and concepts that our families provide us. As adults, we have the freedom to redefine how we celebrate the holidays. If the familiar customs no longer feel meaningful, it’s the perfect time to try something new! Whether this includes a night of bar hopping the day before Christmas Eve, traveling to a new location for Hannakuh, or anything in between. You’re totally free to create whatever new traditions align with your life.